I had no idea what was going on and quickly ran off down the corridor, wondering if I had been hallucinating from the sudden heat increase. Voices then started speaking to me as if from thin air one asked me to remove my hand from her breast. Despite there being no-one in front of me I managed to bump into three solid objects. I went to sit down only to get a loud scream when I placed my bottom upon the chair, which made me jump like a cat on a hot tin roof and I flew straight back up. The administrator needs some advice about placement of facilities.Īll of a sudden the temperature went through the roof and I began to sweat profusely. I rounded the corner to find no less then fifteen radiators and twelve drinks machines. I passed by some patients who were complaining about being to cold and wishing they could have a drink. The Pharmacy department came into view and, this being one of the leading hospitals in that particular field, I thought I’d stop and have a look. Clearly my earlier thoughts about the hospital being rather quiet had been incorrect because it was starting to get rather busy. Leaving the Elvis impersonators and their flashing blue lights, I moved deeper into the hospital. I looked inside the office but there was no doctor inside. I did remember an announcement over the wireless about emergency cases of King Complex coming in, but I didn’t think they literally meant The King. It was rather strange and I did wonder If I’d left the hospital and strayed into some sort of strip club. Found seven gentlemen outside with flashing blue lights above their heads, all dressed as Elvis. He tried to speak but end up spitting everywhere, so I carried on. It was lolling from his mouth and protruding in a disgusting manner. Moved myself away from the General Practitioner officers after tripping over a gentleman’s tongue. Sure enough, it was full of Interns being led by Consultants. This Hospital does have a reputation for an excellent training program. Patients seem happy enough, although I did witness some very sick people enter those offices. Each is in exactly the same position in each room. Inside each office is a standard sized desk, a filing cabinet, a patient’,s chair, a radiator and a bin. Each is exactly the same size, with the windows placed in the same position. One peculiar thing I did notice was that they were all exactly identical. All are staffed with male doctors and have appropriate waiting facilities outside. First impressions are good.īegin by touring the General Practitioner offices. I announced who I was and she gave me the all-clear to proceed. I wasn’t quite sure where from, but at the time I thought nothing of it. I faced the desk to find that a young blonde receptionist had appeared. I turned around to see if I had, perhaps, been mistaken at using this entrance, when I heard a noise behind me. There is some seating and a desk but no people around. I enter through the front entrance to a rather bare area. Chris isn’t outside to greet me and neither are his staff. So, in the interests of full disclosure, I henceforth present my account as accurately as recollection permits.Īrrive promptly at Sir Toffington Memorial. While this report may seem routine at first, I invite you to examine some of the peculiarities (which I’ll summarise at the end). Most unprofessional I daresay, but I do digress. He simply refuses to give us any further details. This was part of our annual visit and shouldn’t have been a surprise to the Administrator, whom we still only know as ‘Chris’. I, Sir Sigmund Bullfrog Esq., hereby give my account of my findings at Sir Toffington The Third Memorial Hospital. Location: Sir Toffington The Third Memorial Hospital. I trust you’ll make the appropriate persons aware. Please find enclosed my full report at Toffington Hospital.
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